ARgggmmmfffshhh

Jibberish...pretty much sums up my brain this past month. I have been so busy and caught up in the daily grind of life that by the end of the day, once the kids are asleep, I plop onto the sofa and drift away into...the land of reality television. Yep. I'm not proud of it. But hey, at least I'm honest. So as for the Daniel Fast....I succeeded for one week. I even made refried beans from dried pinto beans and homemade whole wheat tortillas. And I was feeling good. Then I started a second job....and just got busy. I know, excuses, excuses. Sigh. Well I made it a third of the way through. As for my spiritual life....right now it's drier than the Sahara. Not sure why. I've learned by now in my walk with God that there are different seasons...times of such spiritual highs and clarity...and times like this. Sigh. Again. I think part of it has to do with smoking. Yep...started smoking. Again. A few months ago. Nasty little devil it is. Since I know it's not good for me...I sort of hide from God...like if I just ignore Him it'll make it okay. There are 2 problems with this plan: 1. God's love for me is unending and unchanging, regardless of my sin (and some would argue if smoking is a sin. I think it is for me...because I make it an idol...and turn to smoking for comfort, anxiety relief, etc. rather than God. And it destroys the body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.)
2. I can't hide from God. And in doing so, I'm only hurting myself. He's not shocked that I'm smoking. I'm pretty sure He's waiting, lovingly, and patiently for me to turn to Him and cry out for Him to help me overcome this stronghold. Which presents my biggest problem: I don't really want to stop!!! I like smoking, it's so comforting, and relaxing, and it gives me a 5 minute time out from whatever chaos my day brings. WAAAAAA...WAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

Okay, so for seriousness....please PRAY for me about this issue...as silly as it may seem. It is a serious hindrance to me in my relationship with God and it has to go. Period.

On that note....my brother in law, Mark, is a MIRACLE. Well, I mean, technically we are all miracles, but he's a miracle twofold because God reached down and pretty much pulled him from the grave and restored his health and gave him a second chance at life on this earth. Apparently, his job here is not done. The doctors and nurses that have encountered Mark have almost all used the word MIRACLE. So....God is so amazingly faithful and good. I'm so thankful for Mark...love you brother!!

P.S. After that, why am I hiding from God in the cave with my stinky, nasty cigarette embers glowing with every puff? Hmmmm...will ponder.

Humble Pie

I'm posting this in regards to my post titled "Oh, Church". I humbly regret pointing fingers and using specific people to make a point. I, in hindsight, realize that more important is Unity in the body of Christ. I should have confronted people in private...not publicly...and for that I apologize. I have a fierce passion for the truth, and sometimes it noses it's way ahead of something much more important...love. Regardless of my opinions and viewpoints, it was wrong of me to attack. Rather, I should share what God has shown me through his Word in love, and leave it at that without making it personal. To anyone whom I've offended or hurt through my post....I humbly ask for forgiveness. I hope that you know my true desire is for truth, not to cause pain. So I will eat my humble pie....it tastes bitter and sweet all at once.

New Year is Here

Ahhh...another new year. A time that seems suitable for fresh starts, breaking bad habits, and implementing new healthy ones. This year I am attempting the Daniel Fast. I say attempt, because let's face it, I'm not exactly a diehard when it comes to making commitments. I have a serious lack of self-control...and loathing for routines and structure. With that said, I am seeking the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to follow this one through. So basically, the Daniel Fast is based on Daniel 10:2,3. Daniel, in mourning, decided to basically eat no meat or "choice food" and drink no wine for 3 weeks. The idea is to eat only fruit and vegetables and only drink water for 3 weeks. For me, it is a way to cleanse my body from all the processed foods and chemicals that I consume on a daily basis. Also, I hope to focus on Jesus, digging into His word and get back to what is truly important in life.....a relationship with Him...and bringing Him glory. So armed with my supply of vegetables, beans and fruit, and my sword of the Spirit, here we go.....Lord, lead the way!

Oh Church

There has been some controversy about a local church recently. http://www.bringmethenews.com/2011/11/03/pastor-says-controversy-over-the-crossing-church-is-a-misunderstanding/

Here are my thoughts on it. I only share them because it is something dear to my heart...and I only want to seek the truth. I actually posted this on Facebook so I copied it from there, hence the weird format.

• I don't think Jesus had to "bribe people with crap" to follow him. For example the rich young ruler:

• "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" (Jesus says) "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.' " And he said to him, "Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth." And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, " You lack one thing; go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
• Seems to me Jesus confronted the man's sin. He didn't jump up and down and market himself so the man would relate to Him and then maybe believe. Nope, sin was the issue. Why are we using sin instead as a way to market and appeal to the masses "get people in the door", then maybe they'll come to know Christ?? And what about John the Baptist, who was sent to prepare the way for Jesus? First of all, the guy was a little weird I'm sure to the rest of society. Since the Bible makes a point to mention that he wore camel's hair and ate locusts and wild honey. Doesn't seem like he was trying to fit in to society to win people to God. And what did he preach? Luke 3: 3 And he (John) went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And: Luke 3:7-8 He said therefore to the crowds that came out to be baptized by him, "you brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bear fruits in keeping with repentance."

  
  
• Not saying I know it all by any means...but one thing I do know, the Bible itself tells me to test everything. 1 Thessalonians 5:20 "Do not despise prophesies, but test everything; hold fast what is good." And....1 John 4:1 " Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world." And....Galations 1:9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed. And....2 Cor 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. So I'm just saying that it's not a negative thing to question your pastor and test everything to scripture. The Bible even tells us to test ourselves!

  
  
• Oh and one more thing, if you're not willing to ever question your church or a pastor let me ask you this: why not? Because of a loyalty to your church or your pastor? Shouldn't our first loyalty be to Christ alone? If you're never willing to test or question because of loyalty then that's a dangerous place to be. Especially when the Bible tells us to test every spirit, warns us against false prophets, and tells us to even examine ourselves to see that we are in the faith. Do we think false prophets don't exist anymore? Or do we think that they'll always be so obvious to us? I don't know, again the Bible tells us to beware of wolves in sheep's clothing. That tells me that false teachers could appear to be a regular, respectable pastor. Not saying that Eric is a false teacher, but I am saying if there are questions arising, it's probably a good time to put things to the test to make sure. And myself included....test what I say....please! I'm just a seeker of the truth, and I've learned that a pastor or a church can't come before Jesus.
• And sometimes controversies are a work of Satan, and sometimes they might be the truth coming out. Either way, test everything.

Super Easy...and Yummy Recipe

Okay so I made this one day when I was at a loss for what to make for dinner. I had the ingredients on hand and voila....yummy super easy supper. It's essentially a fancy version of mac & cheese with hot dogs...with broccoli added. Gotta make sure the kids get their veggies!

1 14-16 oz. box of penne pasta
1 bag of Steamfresh broccoli florets (or fresh broccoli, cooked)
8-12 oz. shredded colby jack cheese (depends on how cheesy you want it..I like lots of cheese)
1/2 stick of real butter
milk - I don't measure...just pour a little at a time until good consistency
1 beef or turkey kielbasa smoked sausage

Cook pasta to al dente. Cook broccoli according to directions. Slice smoked sausage into 1/2 inch slices and saute in a little water until thoroughly heated. Drain pasta. Stir butter into pasta. Add sausage. Stir in cheese...adding milk until cheese is melted and creamy. Stir in broccoli and serve. My hubby absolutely loves this dish...and he's kind of hard to please. Anyway, just thought I'd share. I know I always love a good, easy recipe.

And back to work I go....

So the plan was not for me to go back to work. I was going to be stay at home mommy...something I've always wanted to be since Taryn was born. After Toby was born I had second thoughts (like I must be out of my mind, and will I ever shower again??)...and apparently so did God. Calvin lost his job when Toby was 2 weeks old. Yikes. How quickly life can change. My first reaction was devastation and of course, fear. What are we going to do now? Haven't we had enough trials these past 3 years???? I think we've grown enough, Lord...how about taking it easy on us for awhile????!! However, the blessings slowly but surely revealed themselves. First, I got mastitis 3 times in a row. If you've ever had it you know it knocks you on your butt. Basically you feel like you have the flu and it's horrible, not to mention the fact that you just had a baby, are absolutely exhausted, and have to function regardless. So how convenient that my wonderful husband, yes again with the cheese factor, was home to help me through it. He got up with Toby every night for almost 2 weeks. Blessing. Bu-lessing! By the way, anyone who nurses their babies for the long haul deserves an award. Not even just an award but maybe an award ceremony like the Emmy's for breastfeeding. I don't know but I couldn't do it. So the plan changed...mommy's going back to work. Which at that point I was secretly excited about. And I think my husband was too. I think he had a picture of me in sweatpants and combing my hair like once a week. Well, at the beginning of my maternity leave, that was pretty much the truth. Anyway, 2 weeks before I'm scheduled to go back he started a new job that he absolutely loves. BLESSING. Except that meant finding daycare. SCARY! And then God brought the most perfect daycare provider I could possibly ask for. She did daycare for one of my coworkers whose girls are grown and also has another coworker's son right now. Perfect. Blessing!!! (I sang it that time in opera voice in case you were wondering.) I have now made it through day 2 of my back to work adventure. It hasn't been easy for sure...I had a few tears after the first daycare drop off. But tonight I have a fresh perspective and just feel so....you guessed it...blessed. And my wonderful daycare mama hooked me up today with a pass to the Just Between Friends presale so I pretty much got fall/winter wardrobe for both kids for $114. Um, best deal ever. K I'm done ranting...for now...but I hope you all experience a little of God's amazing love for you even in the times that seem so difficult. Good night.

I'm Ba-ack!

Whew...it's been awhile eh? Wow has life changed since my last post. Let me give you the low down: We welcomed Toby Braeden Fenn into the world on May 31, 2011. He is a beautiful, healthy baby and at 2 1/2 months is sleeping through the night. Thank God for small victories....actually in this case I'll say it's a big one. Mama likes her sleep. Taryn is 3 1/2 and she is turning into such an amazing little girl. But I'm not going to sugar coat it. Whoever says the twos are terrible are terribly mistaken. The threes, my friends, are in fact much more terrible. With that said, when Taryn isn't being terrible she makes me laugh and I feel such a sense of pride when I look at her (cheesy as that may sound). There have been a couple of hairy moments since bringing her brother home.....like when my husband came out of the bathroom to find her choking him. Is that normal by the way? So she's tried to kill him already...God willing she will not succeed. Let's just say going to the bathroom these days is not what it used to be. So, now that you're all caught up.....I have to share my latest grocery shopping victory. At Cub yesterday I spent $90 and saved $64....but I actually saved much more than that because they don't add the savings from sales into the total you saved on the receipt (which is maddening) and every item I bought was on sale in addition to the coupons. They only calculate the store and manufacturer coupons into the total saved. So, for example, the certain General Mills cereals were on sale for $1.99. That is a savings in and of itself of $1.76 a box. I had 8 $.50 off coupons which brings it to $1.49 a box.....which is a savings of $2.26 per box. So it drives me crazy that they don't add the $1.76 into the total saved because I feel like the receipt is the official result. Oh well...it was still a good deal. So according to the receipt I saved 42%...which is fabulous. I'm not quite to the extreme couponing level yet but I'm working on it. My theory is I can't feed my family with 200 tubes of toothpaste and 50 bottles of hot sauce anyway. Have you ever watched that show on TLC about extreme couponers? Awesome that they can get $1000 worth of stuff for $12.50 or whatever but let's be realistic about it people! I don't have 40 hours a week to dedicate to coupons. And the things they buy sometimes are ridiculous. So I like to think of myself as a practical couponer. I will share my grocery list going forward...if anyone is interested. Well, gotta go for now. Taryn is being very quiet and when I asked her what she's doing she replied, "I'm not doin' nuffin'". Oh she's doing something.