The Race

"Let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles, let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12: 1,2. I have been pondering this verse lately. I have it taped on my mirror so every morning I am reminded. It seems to sum up life so perfectly. It is a race. Throw off the crap that entangles you and holds you back, just fix your eyes on Jesus. He endured the cross, and now is seated at the right hand of God. Seems like a good reason to push through it all. The pain, the sin, the emptiness, everything. We will not be seated at the right hand of God, which is the highest honor. But we will be in the same house. That in and of itself is pretty amazing. "Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." 1Cor. 9:24-27 These scriptures inspire me incredibly. Life is not just a random sequence of events that we float through. There is a purpose. There is an end. There is a prize. Run the race. Train yourself. Live intentionally. Fix your eyes on Jesus. I am so encouraged tonight and inspired and in awe of God's word. I have been reading Andrew Prest's blog and it is soooo inspiring, and moving. Him and his wife Janet went to Woodland. He is not only writing about his life training, but also he is literally in training physically. The parallels are astounding. So the word of the day is inspiration. How often do you run aimlessly or beat the air? I know I do more than not. But God's love and grace are so extravagant, and it never changes. Fix your eyes on Jesus, friends. Run the race with perserverance. Taryn is doing amazing as usual. Jacci and Zach (did I spell it right this time?) came over Saturday and let Calvin and I go out for a much needed date night. We went to dinner and saw a movie. It was nice to be out with him. Then we came home and played Upwords and talked until 2am. It was such a fun day. I'm falling more and more in love with my daughter, if that is possible. Every moment I look at her I just want to will her my love. I want her know how much I love and cherish her. She is so beautiful. I am realizing that I must not let the little things go by unnoticed. Even feeding her, the sleepy eye rolls and yanking on my fingers and my watch are so prescious. It's amazing. She is such a happy baby, too. The only time she isn't content is when she's tired or hungry. What a blessing. She will be 5 months on Tuesday. It goes so fast. Calvin is starting his new job on Tuesday. I pray that he will enjoy it and be challenged. He is doing awesome in school, too. He has made it on the dean's list twice now. He works so hard, I am so proud of him. Well, love to all!

I was just reminiscing about my times with TimberBay. I just went on the web site and memories flooded my mind. I can't help but get emotional. It was one of the scariest and most exciting times in my life. God had yanked me right out of pretty much every comfort zone I ever had to be apart of this amazing ministry. I remember realizing that is exactly where I wanted to be, completely out of my comfort zone. That's how I knew God was doing the work. I miss the kids, I miss Paul, the director who was like a dad to me. Wow. I remember my first night at camp. I was so terrified and nerve-wracked that I actually got sick, laying in my top bunk because I was too chicken to assert myself with the often times intimidating teenage girls. I laugh about that now. God was really using me there. And not just for the girls, but He was showing me so much. I miss it. I really do. It was a part of my life I will always cherish. It was the first time that I got off of my butt, stopped being lazy, stepped out of myself and really listened to the Lord. It was amazing.

Ah Ha!!

So last night I decided to blow the dust off the Bible and settle in for a little God and I time and I am so glad I did. I opened up to 1 Corinthians 13 - the famous love chapter. "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." And then it says, "Love never ends." In the moment that I read those three little words my whole perspective was changed. I had been reading this passage and thinking about love in general and how I am to love others. But this time God gave me an "ah ha" moment that was so amazing and exciting it bubbles up in me right now! In 1 John it says "God is love." Love never ends. God's love for me never ends!! God never ends, and His love never ends. His love "bears all things" and "endures all things" that I put it through. I just wanted to share how Jesus touched my heart so deeply. Isn't that so incredible that our Lord's love never ends?

To Live, or Not to Live...

Well I have been in a bit of a slump lately. Back to TVland, yuck. I gotta say I am so tired of just letting my life pass me by. I realized yesterday, I need to choose to live. Everyday. Rather than just letting my feelings steer the boat, I need to take the wheel back! Living victoriously in Christ is a choice. I can choose to wake up, mumble a half-hearted prayer and stumble through my day. Or, I can choose to wake up, seek Christ, spend time in the word, and live. Does that make sense? I go a couple of days without reading the word and truly spending time seeking the Lord and then I'm like, oh, God is probably mad or disappointed in me so I'll just ignore the voice inside me that urges me to open the word. So wrong!!! I don't know why I make things so difficult. I get in the way of myself so often. And I also forget that Satan roams the earth looking for his next victim to devour and deceive. As you can probably tell from my blog, I'm on a roller coaster. One day I'm up, and the next I'm down. Yuck. I don't want to whine, just letting ya'll know where I'm at. Struggling as usual! I know deep down that a big part that is missing is fellowship. I'm a lone elbow, living apart from the body, so I'm not so effective. I don't know why I'm so scared to just dive in and get involved in the church. And I know myself, always making excuses. Some encouragement please!!! I went dress shopping with my beautiful friend Jacci today, and she found "the one". I am so excited for her! She is so beautiful inside and out and God has truly blessed her with Zac. They are an amazing couple. Even her engagement ring and proposal are witnessing tools for God's kingdom. So awesome. Congrats guys! Well, that's all for today. Isn't my munchkin cute?!